Oh my god. Ah. Torpedo Shots is a fun, party game that’s like Battleship with an extra shot of fun, unless you’re playing with some not-so-fun beverages. This is the Gross Battleship Challenge. So we each have nine cups in front of us arranged in a strategic battle position.
So the first one to sink the other guy’s ships is the winner. Yeah, so it’s like Battleship. But every time you call out the right one, I have to do a shot of something gross. The long ship, that straight up looks like a toilet. You’ve got the clear water. You’ve got the poop water.
The poop water. The diarrhea water. Diarrhea water. You’ve also got pee water. It’s the poop ship. All in all, this game just looks like a stomachache. I’m nervous. I’m really nervous. Yeah, you should be, because this is going to be a hit. It’s gonna be D2. No, that’s the poop ship.
Yes, poop deck. Wow, you got the diarrhea cup. This is Vegemite. Oh my god. Ah. It’s so salty. [GAGGING] OK. Australia, what are you doing? Why are you eating this stuff? Why did you do this to us, Australia? All right, are we still playing? Are we done? That’s the game. Vat 19. E5. That, my friend, is a miss.
What? D2 was a hit. Let’s just keep that rolling and go a little C2. Aw, man, they could have been any direction. You had to– It’s the beer with the dry, brewed coffee. What? It seemed like at first you weren’t sure whether you liked it or not. Oh, I really hate it.
Now it seems like you do not like it. OK. So that’s a do not like. Oh, gosh, that is gross. Can I please hit something on the board? We’re going F1. F1, that is a miss. Do you have any ships on the board? I do not. I took them all off. All right, so this is just a big, prank video.
Yes, this is what we call a prank video. So we know there’s two more for the poop deck. So I guess we’ll just go B2. That’s a hit. That’s a hit. It’s a hit. Oh, oh. Do you like it or not? Let us know. Ow, that was weird. If I was Ben, I would put something really, really nasty right on C5. That is a hit. Yes.
Oh, I watched it just kind of slide its way through your teeth. Why do people like hot chocolate? What? You just ate bugs. Bugs ain’t bad, man. I am going to go E2. Gosh dang it. No pucker? I like it. I love sour stuff. Ah, that was a nice little dessert to my poop ship. You sunk my poop ship.
So I hit last time on C5. I think you would put that right there on C4. Correct. Correct. No? Uh-uh. Yuck, pickles are so nasty. Why do people eat pickles? OK, John, I already sunk your poop deck. I’m going after the spicy ship now. So I’ll just keep my hot streak going with B5. Fun B5 is a miss.
All right. I hit your bug ship. So there’s one more. If I were you, I would put that right on C3. You are correct. You are correct. I love cats, love dogs, love beer, love wine. I don’t think I’m gonna like this. I don’t know. I’m gonna guess it’s salty. It tastes like meat but the wrong kind of meat– like the kind that humans don’t eat.
OK, all right, coming after you. D4. D4 is a miss. You’re going down here. Hoo, that was a close one. I think maybe you might have something on E2. Why would I have something on E2?
Because I do. That’s why. Straight up vinegar. The vinegar. It’s intense. Is it kind of just punching you? It’s burning. I struck out the last couple, but I’m back at it with F4. Oh, no. That’s a lot of hot sauce. That is way too much hot sauce. All right. OK. Ha. I feel like I just swallowed a grenade. Like, it’s bad, but it’s not that bad yet. And it’s going to be really bad in just a few seconds.
Oh. I’m good. I’m good. I’m good. What was the last one? E2. So I’m going to say E1. E1 is a hit. This is warm beer and a chewable coffee. I can’t really see well.
That sounds like a problem. I’m not kidding. I might fade out here. Oh, man. This is weird. This is a weird feeling. I’m getting, like, the tunnel vision. I can’t really see much. I kind of feel like I’m floating, like gravity is not working as well. Well, while John has an out-of-body experience, I am going to try to drink beer and coffee.
Oh, man. [COUGHING] Are you OK? Do you want to take a break? I think I’m all right. Well, we’ll keep rolling then. If you liked that spicy cup, you’re going to love F5. It’s a hit. It’s just the same level of heat but just in Jelly Belly form. That’s a lot of them too. These are really spicy, but I think my body is just shutting it all down.
This sucks, man. My deductive reasoning is telling me that E3 is going to be a hit. Logic has not failed you this time. What dimension would you say you’re in right now? I don’t know, man. I feel the torpedo [BLEEP] coming though. Welcome back, John.
You had to take a gentleman’s timeout. That’s a nice way to put it. I just vomited up everything I just drank. And I have none of this inside me anymore. It’s all gone. I think I need to nail your next ship right now. That’s why I’m going to pick C6. That’s a miss.
No, dang it. The poop deck is going to be finished off with an E4. E4, Australia strikes again. I just don’t know why you’d choose to eat that. Closing in, I’m like a shark. A3. Ooh, that’s another miss. No, dang it. It’s a miss, just splashed right in the water. So you really don’t like the hot sauce. You might put in on A1. Dang it, no. I just spent 10 minutes in the bathroom because I couldn’t handle that. You want this?
Yeah, yeah. There’s no shame in that. The way the spice works is it tricks your brain into thinking that you’re on fire. That’s the actual science of it. Counterpoint, I think my lips are on fire. Actually, let me see. Yep, a little bit. All right, John, let’s see if we can get one more in you.
No bugs, no bugs, no bugs, no bugs. It’s A4. Dang it. But it’s not bugs. That’s the– Cocktail. What? Right? It’s not that bad. No, it was bad. I’m about to sink your last ship on A2. My mouth is still burning. You might not even feel this, honestly. That’s a good point. It might have numbed you.
They’re really good. I like the orange ones, personally. The cherry are good too though. But then you’ve got the karate kick of the spice coming right behind the door.
OK, there it is. You got the spice? Why did we do this? Congratulations on your win. Thank you. My mouth doesn’t feel good. This was a bad idea.
Yeah. Pick up your own Torpedo Shots at vat19.com, and fill them with your drink of choice. And make sure to tap the videos on the right to see more unsinkable content from Vat 19. I kind of feel like I’m floating, like gravity is not working as well. And, like, my body is not doing what I’m telling it to do. I’m tingly in the brain. I think that’s illegal. vat19.com